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Of Men, Mountains, and Muted Voices: A Tale of Unwarranted Dominance


Nature, in her splendor and bounty, has been ruthlessly exploited over centuries. Forests have been stripped bare, mountains blown apart, and rivers poisoned in humanity's unending quest for dominance. This audacious entitlement over nature's riches bears an uncomfortable parallel to a gathering I hosted last night.


I had invited a group of women over for a much-needed garden to table party. I was looking forward to an evening of shared laughter, great food, and camaraderie. However, the landscape of our gathering was irrevocably altered when my partner, chose to assert his presence.


Initially, he, took a supportive role, washing dishes and helping to source supplies. As time wore on, the shift in his energy was akin to a miner eager to extract precious gems, inserted himself into our conversations with the deftness of a seasoned professional.


His constant interjections were like incessant drillings into a mountain's heart, each one disrupting the natural flow of our discourse, silencing the chorus of feminine voices that was supposed to be the music of the night.


Stories were commandeered by him. Like the exploitative gaze of a colonizer upon a lush, unspoiled forest, our conversations were territories to be seized, to impose his own views and narratives. The richness of our shared experiences and perspectives was relegated to a subordinate role, much like the essential yet often overlooked creatures of an ecosystem.


As the evening wore on, our voices grew softer, less frequent. An unspoken tension filled the space, reminiscent of the eerie stillness that descends upon a landscape ravaged by wanton deforestation. The depletion of our enthusiasm was palpable.


In the same way that humankind has often ignored the subtle signs of a planet in distress, my partner remained oblivious to our growing discomfort. He continued to dominate our gathering, siphoning the vitality of our assembly with a proprietor's disregard, much like the relentless extraction of Earth's resources.


Our gathering, originally a sanctuary where we could escape societal expectations and freely express ourselves, was disrupted. The emotional landscape had been stripped bare, much like the earth of her natural resources, leaving behind a stark wilderness echoing with the hollow sound of one dominating voice.


However, this is not where the story ends, nor where it should. Just as humanity is slowly awakening to the devastation wrought upon the Earth, realizing the urgency of change, my attempts to reclaimed the space persisted. My voice growing stronger, much like nature herself, ever resilient and tenacious. After realizing how my partner slid into the learned role, taught by western conditioning, he instantly felt remorse and sorrow.


A fine first step for lasting change. To be sure, solving the problem of 'conversation domination' starts with recognizing it. We must make a collective effort to check our own behaviors, encourage balanced dialogue, and most importantly, to listen. Just as we are learning to respect and protect our planet, we need to apply the same principles in our interpersonal interactions.


Our conversations, like our planet, are shared spaces. They are ecosystems of ideas, emotions, and experiences that should be nurtured, not exploited. When everyone is heard, the dialogue becomes a symphony of diverse voices that enriches our understanding and builds stronger, more respectful connections.


This is the lesson from my kitchen. Our social gatherings, like our world, are not resources to be dominated and depleted, but treasured landscapes to be nurtured and shared.


1 Comment


Thanks so much for your courage in sharing this. I thought it was just Wayne, to a certain degree. I have been complaining about it since Day 1, 24 years ago. Yes, he has gotten a little better. 🤦🏻

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